Hi guys let me start by saying that you can’t make anyone who doesn’t want to come back, to come back but these steps may work if they still love you so it’s worth a try!
Following my last post on “How to get over an ex you still love”, I said I was going to write about this too because I also know how hard it can be to get over someone — especially when it seems they have moved on, and you haven’t.
Please I want you to know that this will only work for exs who aren’t in love with someone else or haven’t moved on from you! If they have moved on, please don’t bother.
These are the steps you should try towards getting an ex back:
- Stay Away
You probably weren’t expecting me to say this; but yes, giving them space helps them to process their thoughts, and also gives them room to miss you. Continuously begging or contacting them will push them away from you. It’ll make them feel like they did the right thing by walking away!
Continuously begging them will lower your worth and value; and they’ll treat you like a doormat, and I don’t think that’s something you want! Leaving them alone will also help them to remember the good times you both shared, at the long run!
- The No Contact Rule
This might sound cliché but it works! When someone doesn’t hear from you for long, they think about you! This will be hard especially for people that have dated for a long time; and probably talked every day! I know it’s hard to not talk to someone who has been there for you — it’s even tougher when they’re the one that broke up with you because you hurt them or something.
But the no contact rule makes them wonder what you’ve been up to! You will need emotional maturity and strength to achieve this! This will also help you to heal just in case they don’t come back!
You need to get out and live your life. You must determine what makes you happy and then pursue it. You must learn to be content in the absence of your ex.
No contact rule means not contacting them anywhere — no phone calls, texts nor social media for at least 3 weeks! It means they don’t get to hear from you nor see any posts about you! Only reach out if it’s very necessary — otherwise, don’t! I know you’re asking, “what if they marry someone else?” Then it’s better! It’s because that’s what they wanted to do!
You can get back on social media when the No contact rule is over! You can post once in a while about you having a great time; but don’t throw shades about how any gender is wicked, please! Remember, don’t contact them yet.
- Work On Yourself
Why did you guys break up? Whose fault is it? Did you find out they were cheating? If yes, please save your energy and move on. They should be the one trying to get you back! Did you do something wrong that hurt them? You need to work on yourself because they can only come back when they have seen a change in you!
Also, work on yourself because you want to be a person you’ll be proud of — not just because of anyone; and even if they don’t come back, you’re a better version of yourself, and you’ll attract someone who deserves you!
I promise you, most times exs stalk their exs so if you’re doing great, they’ll see it, and they’ll reach out but the funny thing is that by the time they reach out, you may have moved on, and want someone better!
- Look Good
Take care of yourself — physically, and mentally! Changing your physical appearance for the better will give you a new look. You’re going to feel brand new, and you’re also going to feel a whole lot better, too.
And when your ex sees you after the no contact period is over, they will see a completely different person!
- Allow Yourself To Feel The Pain
Yes, this is the period where you process all the hurt you’re going through! Don’t keep them in! No! Cry if you feel like it! It’s fine if you’re sad — it’s normal, and you don’t have to fake happiness! But also make sure that you don’t feel self-pity! Take steps to make sure that your self-esteem doesn’t drop because of a breakup!
Get closer to tristes friends and family members who will be a good support system while you heal!
- Write
Write about your feelings! It’ll help ease off the pain! Write about what went wrong, and the part you played in it, and the steps you’ll take to make sure you don’t repeat the mistakes if you eventually get back together! Review them, and make the necessary changes!
- Learn Emotional Maturity
This will definitely help you a lot! Be in control of your emotions so that even when you finally contact your ex, you don’t go crying and begging because that will put them off!
- Keep Your Date Options Open
I didn’t say go around and be promiscuous, no! Go on casual dates — with the opposite sex! It could be dinner date, lunch date, etc! But don’t use anyone as a rebound!
Going on dates will help you be more confident about yourself!
- It’s Time To Contact Them
Before we got here, remember that this is the last step, and it means that you’re a changed person! If you fake your way to this point, they’ll know, and they may leave again if you get them back!
If you followed all these other steps, and have truly healed, and strongly feel like you still have a future with this person, then go ahead and call them! DON’T TEXT!
Call them, ask them how they’re doing, and tell them you’ll like to see them! Look your best for that date, and remember, if you’re faking it they’ll know! But if you’ve genuinely worked on yourself, and they want you back, they’ll come back to you!
You can also apologize again for the part you played towards the breakup but you don’t need to convince them that you have changed! If you have changed, they’ll see it! Tell them you miss them if you do!
Ps, this post is strictly for single people that want an unmarried ex back!
Thank you for reading.
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